I am obsessed with things being fair. Ask Jon--it drives him crazy. If someone gives me a birthday/Christmas present, I must give them one of the approximate same value. If someone invites us over for dinner, we need to invite them over. Even Steven. I am currently being plagued (I'm nearly livid) by an unfair situation (in my eyes). You see, at Jon's work, they usually collect money when someone has a baby, and either buy gifts or just give the couple the money. Well, it's been five weeks, and our gift hasn't materialized. You might think this is greed , but trust me, it's not; we don't need anything. It's not even really about the even-steven thing (you know, we've paid in quite a bit the last couple of years, now it's our time to get paid back); I'm more hurt for Jon's sake. I mean, since he's getting out, he's kind of been blackballed, or at least kicked to the proverbial curb. He's been nothing but a hard worker and an amazing asset to his shop--where is the love? Doesn't anyone care enough to take care of this? So I was praying about it during this 2am feeding, and God reminded me that life isn't fair, and, luckily, neither is grace. Because if life were truly fair and even-steven, I'd be in a world of hurt right now. I mean, without grace, I wouldn't even have Emily in the first place. "Good thing it's her middle name," God reminded me like a bit of a slap in the face/wakeup call. I wouldn't have Jon, or a house, or a job, or anything. So now I'm trying to focus on grace rather than fairness.